A conversation I had with a local coffee-shop employee this afternoon…
Coffee-shop Employee: What can I get for you?
Awkward Jess: The darkest roast you have. Black.
Coffee-shop Employee: Ah. A serious coffee drinker.
Awkward Jess: Yup!
Coffee-shop Employee: Are you in our system?
Awkward Jess: Nope!
Coffee-shop Employee: Well I’ll be able to throw you a free cup of coffee if you sign up.
Awkward Jess: Sounds good!
Coffee-shop Employee doing his job: Can I get your phone number?
Awkward Jess, recognizing that the Coffee-shop Employee has obviously fallen, quite quickly, in love with her incredible beauty and love of dark roasted coffee: Oh! Well I’m really only here for three weeks. (Subtext? I’m sorry to have led you on in this way. I hope your broken heart finds its wings again. Dramatic Pause. Somehow.)
Understandably confused Coffee-shop Employee: Well… That’s really the only way to set you up in the system.
Awkward Blushing Jess: What system? Oh! Oooooooooooooooh. Yeah! Of course! That system! I’m not crazy! Area code 712…..
I’m awkward with men. And that’s okay too.